James Death and Little Washu's Guide to a Moron
by James Death
Summary: My 30th Fic!!!..'Are you sick of Morons who flame you're fic with a paragraph of swear words'..Me and Washu look out at one of the Earth's Stupidest Creatures....Read and Review


I don't own,You don't sue,Ne..?..Terry Pratchet owns the Death Scythe and Robe.Pioneer owns Washu and her Lab and   
I'm glad I don't own Morons like Kasuhito Turky.  
  
JAMES DEATH AND WASHU'S GUIDE TO AN MORON  
  
*The scene is all black,James Death walks O/S wearing a Lab coat over his robe-He trips on his the hem of his Jet black Robe and   
falls on the ground*  
James:BUGGER!!!  
*James Blasts someone O/S*  
James:Sorry-That WAS the canned Laughter guy...I just can't stand canned Laughter...Its like a Million  
Nurdbot:Pssst..*A Huge white sign sails for the wings and smashes into James's head followed by a Felttip pen (Magic Marker to the yanks)  
James:OW..*picks it up and writes some thing in fancy writeing*  
All:WHAT????  
James:*Sighs turn's the white cardboard sign around writes it again in lower case*  
'james death and washu's guide to an moron'  
All:Oooohhhhh  
James:*Rubbing his temples*The things I do for fans.....  
*Rubber gloves snap on sound*  
James:...And after the show   
*Washu walks on comple with Her Usal Outfit plus rubber Gloves (~_~;)*  
Washu:Hi everybody I am little Washu the Greatest Scientest in the Universe and-James-Death-don't-go-sneaking-out-the-back-door....  
James:DAMN..I was so close...okay Washu tell the great FanFic authors why we are here..  
Washu:*Shrugs*I just got the stuff.  
James:*Sighs*Fine.Are you sick of complete morons flameing you're fics by just useing a paragraph of swear words..?  
Authors:YES!!!!!!!  
James:I James Death have come to a deal with Washu....*Gulps*..a sample for this little Experiments...and remember all flames  
on THIS fic will be donated to the 'Sunshine Sanctuary of Dragons'in Ankh-Morpork..  
Washu:The let us begin ^^  
*Washu snaps her Fingers-The Drak lights up showing the more lighter side of the Lab*  
James:..now as I was saying  
Dav:You suck  
*James Throws his Scythe O/S..there is a scream of pain..the Scythe comes back with blood*  
James:...No I'm not going to make a cheesy Joke.This is NOT Hannah Barbra  
*4 People leave the Audiance*  
James:THAT'S RIGHT KEEP WALKIN!!!!!!  
Washu:*Sighs*..anyway lets begin..*Snaps her Fingers Kasuhito Turky pops up in a glass cage-I am not bloody well going to describe him  
so use a thing you have neglected for so long-You're Imaganation*..This is Subject one.Know throughout the FanFic world as 'Kasuhito  
Tury and 'That Bloody git who's reviews last a sentence'...  
James:*Laughs and stops at Washu's glare*  
Washu:He weigh's about (Insert weight here) and his hight (Ditto)  
James:Like that's going to be importent to us...  
Washu:*Snaps her finger-James becomes a Kappa (That small creature thi-Ah Bugger it..)  
James:*Snarf*  
Washu:You stay that way till I'm done mister..And as I was saying...Bugger..I fogot what I was going to say Next...  
Faux:Pssssttt..Specisiemen two..  
Washu:Right..and here's the 2nd Specisemen..Oni demon or something Like that...  
*Washu looks to her right and sweatdrops-James is curently being Hugged by Schoolgirls around the age 16*  
Washu:Back into the crowd..  
*The Girl's reluctantly put down Kappa James and slink back into the crowd*  
Washu:*Sighs and snaps her fingers James goes back to being his usal Human /Anthromorphic Percifacation  
James:*Nosebleed*@@  
Washu:*Dumps cold Water over James*  
James:*Leaping up*I'm awake and ready to blast those-...Damn Star War's Dreams...  
Washu:Right-And James..  
James:..And our Final Specimen is-A Raveing Tramp (Hobo,Bum,Homeless bloke)we found on the pavement (Sidewalk)..  
Washu:Gee...Well..lets get this started....First Test Brain power  
*James falls on the ground laughing*  
Washu:Yes....well....here's our test..we have a block of wood with 3 Shaped holes..A Triangle,A circle and a Rectangle..a simple child mind of  
4 could do this without Problem...  
James:..It's simple...all they have to do is put the right blocks in the right notches...and the blocks are notches have be colour coded..  
Washu:Yes-And if they get it wrong..ZAP!!!!!  
James:This is the part of science I love...  
Washu:Okay  
TEST 1  
James:Who said that..?  
Washu:*Shrugs*  
*James is handed 3 sets of the blocks and tables and he throws them into each different cage.*  
Cage 1:Kasuhito Turky  
*Starts sucking on the Circle block*  
James:Ladies and Gentlemen-I'm going to be sick........  
*Kasuhito Turky just does this till time runs out-Wait I fogot the Time limit DAMN..its 4:Mins and 34 secs....  
Washu:*Presses a button-A large screen comes down the screen say's in big red Caps 'MORON'..Kasuhito Turky is zapped painfully*  
Cage 2:Oni-Moron or something -_-'#  
*He gets the idea right but the Rectage is jabbed  
hardy in the triangle (No Innuendo Jokes please)  
The Triangle is leaning Jauntly out the Circles holes..and as for the poor Rectangle..you don't want to know*  
James:The Horror the HORROR..those poor shapes...  
Washu:*Rolls her eyes-Presses the button  
you know how it works now*  
Cage 3:The Raving Hobo/Tramp/Bum  
*He's done it all within a minute*  
Washu:*Presses Button-WINNER *Hobo/Tramp/Bum is showered with Cookies*  
James:*Looks at Washu*  
Washu:WHAT ????  
TEST 2  
James:Okay Washu what have you made for the 2nd challege..?  
Washu:Simple-I let them near a computer with AOL and a Printer..?  
James:Oh..WHAT????????????????????..  
Washu:Don't worry..Notepad and Microsoft word have been removed...  
James:Thank god's...  
Cage 1:Kasuhito Turky  
*The Printer spits out along sheet of paper over and out the cage into Washu's Hands*  
Washu:Hmmm...  
*Washu Hands it To James*  
James:*Looks at it*ACK @@ *noooosseeebbleeeeeddd*  
Washu:Anime Schoolgirl Hetai..well Girl they ARE about 18...  
James:*Clogs his Nosebleed up with Tissues and pokets to Hentai*  
Washu:You'l need that later...  
James:*Naisaly*Wha..?  
*Washu presses Button Yadda Yadda Yadda*  
Cage 2:Oni-Moron  
*The Printer spits the paper into Washu's Hands-She Raises her eyebrow and passes it to James*  
James:' U  
SUCK ASS TURD...'  
I.hate.him.  
*James Blasts the Paper and goes for Cage 2..he's about the throw in a scorpian when Washu restrains him*  
Cage 3:The Raving Hobo/Bum/Tramp  
*The Print goes into Washu's Hands-Hey cool a penny*  
Washu:*Blinks wide eyed*We have a winner..  
James:I wanna see..  
*Washu hands James the Print out*  
James:My god the entire version of Hamlet spelled COMPLETELY Right!!!!  
Washu:*Presses button Hobo/Tramp/Bum is showered with choclette coins*  
TEST 3:The Final Test  
James:This is the last Test Washu...  
Washu:Uhuh...  
James:So...What's it..?  
Washu:*Shrugs*..I ran out of Idea's after that I started having F-  
James:Oh lord....Well it says Guide so I'll start it...  
  
1.The Look  
Morons are always dressed in a way of saying 'You do that I'll jack off'  
2.There Speech  
Morons have horrible Grammer.In there case Horrible is 'Orrible....  
3.There spelling  
Its amazeing..they can classify Mico Orgasims and Yet they can't spell the word 'Tounge'*Cough Zero Cool *Cough*  
4.The way they act  
Morons rely of some sort of Chemical.I can't remember.Look the bloody thing up...  
5.Making fun of those who are different  
Morons are Pejuduced against people who are smarther/Look better/Powerfuller or people who can use a Toaster and not start a   
Holocost.  
6.History  
Morons have littered History like fly's over the 'Soup' in my Junior School Caffiteria..Hitler,Harrold and YES..even our Beloved Vice-Primeministers  
7.Girls  
Morons have a way of dealing with girls.If it has Two Breasts screw em.Nowonder the next Genaration of Brits are going to be sex crazed  
Football Holigans who don't respect the Royal Family.  
8.The Internet  
AKA Nerd Heaven.I amit I am a Nerd and I like it.I don't have a retainer.I have glasses and tha-NO I DON'T HAVE BLOODY BRAICES  
EITHER...Morons have heard how there Victoms hide in there Houses on this thing so they Pestered/Sucked up/Black Mailed there  
Crack snortin Parent's into getting it for them-They found Anime Under Porn Tenchi under anime and Aeka and Sakuya bashing fics  
pop up faster than Disco Maniacs of 70's nights.  
  
I hope you enjoyed the Guide.Next time you see a Moron in the street shoot him/her..Don't worry..It's like killing small Fergies...  
  
James:Well then Washu..Who was the smartest out of the 3...?  
Washu:Simple.Number 3..  
James:Huzzah!!  
*Washu pulls a Lever-Gas floods cage 1 and 2 the door opens and The Hobo/Bum/Tramp is awarded cash babes and car's galore*  
Washu:Right then it's done.  
*Faux,Nurdbot,Jedi Gorgack,Tseio-Ohki and Tseng walk out the door James Tries to follow them but Washu grabs the edge of his robe*  
James:Oh sorry.*Gives Washu the Lab coat*  
Washu:I don't do this stuff for free.Sample.  
James:JIR  
*The Black Irken Robot pops out of Subspace*  
JIR:Yes Master...  
James:Take a Recording....'Never do a show with Washu again*  
JIR:*Replayed with James's voice*Buy lots of Jello for Jm-I mean JIR  
James:Thats not what I said..  
JIR:Whatever  
*JIR Skips out the door singing*  
Washu:*Grabs James's arm*Come with me.  
James:*Groans*Please.Send help.I'LL GIVE YOU GOLD!!!!!  
Washu:Of be quiet...  
  
Author Notes:Yes I am a Expert at Morons..so after I was flamed again by a Review with more swear words than Sout Park and a Eddie Murphy  
film combined I took action.I am Thinking about Changeing my Author Name to James Death.  
  
Read and Review...REVIEW !!!!!!!!!!..Don't make me come up or down there..  
  
OCCT,Tseio-Ohki and James Death 


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